Where Do I Turn?
by jump5fan
Summary: Lucy tries to get the whole family together again for her parents anniversary. When this happens, will Mary's secret on why she left Carlos come out? And will Simon's life get back on track from what it used to be? PLEASE R&R!
1. Simon's Shock

Simon's Shock

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

"NO WAY" yelled Simon. "You mean, you think you may have an STD and you slept with me?"

Simon Camden was now a second year student at University. He was the son of Reverend Eric Camden and thought to be the perfect child. That all changed when he killed a guy two years ago in a car accident. Simon was a Happy child but latley he was feeling depressed and down. He didn't feel lik e himself anymore.

"Simon, I think it takes two to sleep together you know?" said Hannah. She was Simon's newest girlfriend, or what you would consider a girlfriend. Simon found that his life had become so depressing that he gave it up for drugs and sex. Simon couldn't remember the turning point in his life, but he knew that this wasn't his happy life he used to have.

"But you should of told me." said Simon with an angry look on his face.

"I tried" said Hannah. "How could I tell you when you kept putting your finger up to my motuh and telling me to hush and just enjoy the moment."

"What... you mean... I... I can't believe it..." Simon was so dumbfounded he didn't know what to say. He felt like yelling at Hannah, he felt like hitting his head on the wall, he felt like running outside and not stopping. "I think it's time you leave" Simon said.

"But Simon... The deed is done, there's nothing I can do. Please don't be mad at me, I thought you said you loved me." Hannah pleaded with Simon not to make her leave.

"GO!" Simon yelled and pointed to the door. This is the second time Simon has been through this. He didn't know why he had been so stupid to play with fire again. This time he knew he was burned.

At that moment the phone rang. Simon looked at the caller ID and it was Lucy. Lucy was Simon's older sister. She had followed in her father's footsteps and now was the associate Minister at her father's church.

"Hello..." Simon answered, trying not to let his voice sound worried.

"Hi Simon" Lucy said from the other end. "What's been up latley?"

"Nothing, why... why do you ask?" Simon sounded really suspicious.

"Sheesh..." Lucy said from the other end. "I was just wondering because Mom and Dad's anniversary is coming up and I wanted to throw them a party, I'm trying to get the whole family together. I was wondering if you had the weekend off to come up and pay us a visit for this special occasion."

"Ummm... I don't know yet." Simon said. "Is EVERYONE going to be there?" Simon stressed the everyone because he knew that his oldest sister Mary didn't have much to do with the famly anymore. She ran out on her husband and child and have been ashamed to go home ever since.

"By everyone, you mean Mary don't you?" Lucy asked. "Well as a matter of fact, I've been talking to Mary and she's gonna be heading home tomorrow" Lucy paused, waiting to see if Simon would answer. Nothing. "You know, there is still two more days that you can have to think about it, why don't you take your time? Call me back, I'm really hoping you'll come, you know you haven't seen mom or dad in a while and they'll be so surprised to see you."

"Oh, I'm sure they would be VERY surprised" said Simon in a sarcastic tone.

"What does that mean?" asked Lucy.

"Nothing, anyway, I've gotta go. Bye." Simon hung up the phone before Lucy got the chance to say anything else.


	2. The Trouble With Mary Is

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**The Trouble With Mary Is...**

"I really hope my parents don't ask any questions when I go there" Mary said as she packed her clothes. "I know dad will try and get everything out of me on why I left, but I just can't tell them."

"Mary, you have to tell them sooner or later. You told me and I'm only your room mate, I think your parents have a right to know." said Terri. Terri became Mary's room mate soon after she ran away from Carlos and her kid. Mary didn't know where lese to turn so she took shelter at a homeless shelter where she met Terri. Mary and Terri soon became best friends. Mary got a job working at a video store and Terri became a waitress for the fanciest resturant in town. Together they decided to leave the homeless shelter and rent an apartment and split the rent. The thing was, Eric or Annie, Mary's parents, knew nothing about what she had done. They still think that Mary is living on her own and just trying to find out who she is. They also think that within a couple of weeks, Mary well have figured out all her problems and move back to Carlos and her baby.

"Listen, I've went over this before. You know how my dad is and I can't tell him about what happened. NEVER!" Mary started packing faster and becoming more and more fustrated with Terri.

"Ok, sorry, I should have known not to mess with you Mary Camden!" said Terri with a giggle.

"Terri, you know this is no laughing matter" Mary said putting her hands on her hips. Mary couldn't help but crack a smile, she never could stay mad for too long.

"So, when are you coming back?" asked Terri.

"As soon as possible" Mary said with a giggle. "You know my dad, he'll have me drove nuts before the end of the day, and I have to spend a full weekend there!"


	3. Simon's Decision

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Simon's Decision**

"I'm going!" Simon repeated to himself for encouragment. "Yes, I'm going. This get together is depending on me to be there. I need to be there." Simon looked in the mirror on his bathroom wall. He saw that he was becoming a man very fast but he didn't know where his life was gone. Where his life had gone.

_"What's wrong with me?" _Simon thought. _"This isn't the me that I used to be. This is someone else. This is someone I never wanted to be. I hate this person!"_

Just then Simon heard a knock on his dorm door.

"Who is it?" Simon yelled out, not wanting to answer the door if it was Hannah.

"It's only your favorite brother in the whole world." said the voice form behind the door.

"Is anyone there with you?" Simon asked.

"Nope, just me. I left the wife home. She couldn't get any time off. I also figured this event should just be a family thing. Well, besides the fact that Martin and Kevin will be there. But hey, they live there anyway. So, are you gonna let me in or do I need to talk to a door all day?" Matt was Simon's oldest brother. The oldest out of the kids in the family. The Camden's had a big family. 7 kids of their own plus two grandchildren and another kid who the saved from being left on the street.

"Alright" Simon said has he unlocked his door to let Matt in. "Besides, why did you come all the way down here anyway?"

"I came to pick you up. You're going to this big get together thing aren't you? I mean, it's been AGES since the whole family have been together under one roof. And we finally have Mary coming back too. I mean, isn't that great?" Matt strecthed out his arms to give his little brother a hug.

"Listen, I'm not a kid anymore, I don't like the hugging thing. Plus, I don't really think you should touch me." Simon said.

"What? Simon, what's wrong?" asked Matt.

"Nothing... Honestly!" said Simon.

"And you expect me to believe that?" Matt asked. "Alright, I'll let it slid for now. Anyway, have you got your things packed?"

"Almost there" Simon lied. He went to his room to start. He didn't figure he'd need much because he wasn't planning to stay for the full weekend anyway.


	4. Have A Little Faith

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Have A Little Faith**

"Kevin, I've been trying and trying. No one is answering. It's driving me crazy. Where is SIMON!" said Lucy holding the phone and pushing the redial button.

"Maybe he's on his way" Kevin said in his calm tone. "You worry too much." Kevin was Lucy's husband and they still lived in the garage aparment joined on to the Camden house. Kevin was a police officer and on the look out for another house for him, Lucy and their baby to move into.

"I'm sorry honey, it's just that I want this weekend to be great for mom and dad. I mean, after having Mary run off to England only to find out she's back in the States, and having her come here. It would be great if Simon could come and have everything back like old times again." said Lucy calming down a bit.

"I know" Kevin said as he leaned over a kissed Lucy on the forehead. "I understand you want this perfect, but everything don't always turn out perfect all the time. You should understand that."

"I know, if it isn't meant ot be, then it isn't going to. I just don't understand why the big guy up there can't just let this one work out for me." said Lucy pointing up.

"I'm sure He will Luce, just have a little faith in Him." said Kevin with a smile. "Now come on, it's late, we have to get to bed, otherwise Savanah will be up early tomorrow and we'll be too sleepy to get up and feed her."

"Alright" said Lucy as she followed Kevin into the bedroom. "But if she wakes up real early, you're the one feeding her" Lucy joked.


	5. The Camden's Surprise

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**The Camden's Surprise**

"Hey, is anyone home?" Matt yelled as he opened his paretns front door.

"Yeah, the gangs all here, except you of course. Everyone's fawning over Mary and how much they've missed her and wanted her home. Not much to hear about. This weekend is pretty much Mary's nothing more. Oh, and of course, the constant talk about how Simon couldn't make it and he's not answering anyone's calls." said Ruthie. Ruthie was the youngest girl in the house. She was a real rebel.

"Someone sounds really pleased to see me!" said Matt. "Can a big brother get a hug anyway?" Matt opened his arms and went to hug Ruthie. "I've missed you you know?"

"I've missed you too Matt, you always brought order to us kids when you were around." Ruthie smiled and went back off into the family room where everyone was sitting around talking ot Mary.

Just then Simon walked in.

"Nice to be late walking in. Ruthie just went in to tell them that I was here and that you never made it." said Matt.

"What?" Simon said with a look of anger on his face. "Could I help the fact that not only did I have to take my luggage, I had to take yours too?"

"Oh" Matt laughed in embarrasment. "Sorry about that!"

At that, Annie walked into the kitchen with a sad look on her face. When she saw Simon standing in the door way a tear came to her eye and she ran to him smiling.

"Simon, I didn't think you were going to make it, you had me all depressed and worried. How have you been?" His mother hugged into hiom and wouldn't let go.

"I've been better... way better!" Simon said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Annie. "You don't thinky ou'll enjoy it home with your family."

"No" said Simon. "The problem is, I know I'll enjoy it home here." Annie smiled and hugged Simon even tighter.

"ERIC, KIDS, SIMON CAME HOME" Annie yelled into the family room. It gave Simon enough time to escape from her grip. All the kids came out into the kitchen to great Simon.

"Simon!" said Ruthie coming out of the family room. "You came home! I've missed you so much." She went and gave Simon a hug.

"Hey, you're getting stronger lady, you're gonna have to loosen your grip long enough for me to drop this luggage" Simon giggled. It was the first time in a long time that he's done that.

"Hi Simon" said Sam and David together. They were twins and the youngest of the family.

"Simon, We've missed you" said Sam.

"And we love you" said David. Simon could feel a tear come to his eye. He loved these little guys too, but the way his life was going, he hated it. He felt bad knowing these two little kids looked up to him and thought of him as a role model. Yet, his life was complete crap at this moment. He couldn't let these kids see him like this.

"Well, I guess I'll get my stuff upstairs" said Simon holding back tears. He picked up his suitecase and headed up stairs.

"I'm so happy" Lucy aid and turned to Kevin and hugged him. "Everything his working out has planned."

"I told you to have faith in the big guy didn't I?" said Kevin with a smile on his face.


	6. Numbing The Pain

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Numbing The Pain**

_"Where's my life going" _thought Simon as he unpacked his clothes. _"I've never felt this way before. I just... I just want to end it all. I can't talk to my family about this. They think I'm doing so much better since the counselling. No, Dad would never stand for this."_

"Hey Sport!" said Mary. Simon turned to see Mary standing in the doorway of his old room. His old room where he had spent his old, happy life. Where did everything change?

"Hey Mary, long time no see." said Simon, forcing a smile. Mary went over to hug Simon. Simon for the first time realized that there was actually someone who understood him and cared for him. He didn't understand why he got this feeling from Mary, he just did.

"You should come downstairs you know. The family is wondering why you ran out on us so fast down there earlier." said Mary as she slipped her hands into her jeans pockets.

"Oh, so they sent you up to come get me. You know, I wouldn't want to say no to the sister who have had just as bad of a life as I did" said Simon with a disgusted look on his face.

"Simon, you know nothing about my life." That really struck a cord with Mary. "And actually, Matt was on his way up to get you, but I voulnteered instead. I've missed you you know?" Simon wondered why Mary was having this conversation with him, but he figured his father had something to do with it.

"Listen, I just need to use the washroom. I'll be down in a bit, you go on back down with them. I'm sure they're asking a million questions by now." said Simon.

"Alright, but you make sure you're down fast. I'll be up to get you in 10 minutes if you're not down." said Mary with a smile. Simon smiled back.

When Mary left the room, Simon headed to the bathroom. Once there he looked in the mirror.

"I hate you you know." Simon said to his reflection. "I hate who you are, I hate who you're becoming. I hate what you've done. I hate your life in general."

Simon picked up one of his razors he brought with him and cut his wrist. Then he looked back at his reflection.

"See what I can do?" a tear fell from Simon's eye. "I can take away your life just like that! Do you like the pain? Makes the other problems seem so small don't it?" Simon looked down at his wrist, it wasn't bleeding much. The cut wasn't that deep. Simon had scars all over his wrist. He started cutting his wrist, not to kill himself, but because he knew that the pain from a razor cut made the other problems in his life fade a bit for only a minute.

Simon cleaned the blood of his wrist and razor, wiped the tears from his eyes and headed downstairs to pretend like nothing was wrong.


	7. Family Talk

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Family Talk**

"So, Simon, how'r you doing in University this semester?" Lucy asked Simon.

"As expected from me." Simon said, making Lucy think he was doing well. Really he meant what he expected of himself. The way his life was going that wasn't much.

"So, what exactly are you doing in university now?" asked Mary. "It's been so long since I've talked to you."

"I haven't declared yet." said Simon.

"How about you?" Lucy asked Mary. "How do you like your job in Boston?"

"Oh, it's great. I love it. It's really easy and plus I get free video rentals every weekend and they give me discounts on the videos that they are selling. So, if you guys ever want a video, give me a call!" Mary giggled.

"So, you don't plan on going back with Carlos?" asked Ruthie. "Mom and dad say that you're just going through a faze and that you'll be back with him!"

"Oh, they say that do they" Mary said with a depressed look on her face. "I don't really think that though."

"So, how's Sarah?" Annie asked Matt trying to change the subject.

"She's great! She couldn't get the weekend off so she couldn't head down. But I figured it was gonna be a family thing with just us kids anyway." Matt smiled.

"And... What am I?" asked Martin with a laugh.

"Chopped liver!" said Matt, the family started laughing. All except Simon and Mary. Mary slipped past the family while they were laughing and headed upstairs to her room. No one noticed her leave with such a big crowd there anyway. No one that is except Simon.

"So, when am I going to be expecting grandkids from you and Sarah?" Annie asked.

"Not for a while. We still wanna get on our feet. You know, be finished med school and all. Have real jobs. We wanna be totally sure we can support a family." said Matt.

"Can I be excused?" Simon asked.

"Sure..." Eric said. Simon slipped out of the family room and upstairs to where he saw Mary go.


	8. Confessions

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Confessions**

"Why'd you run out like that?" Simon asked Mary as he followed her into what used to be her's and Lucy's room.

"It's really none of your business Simon" said Mary with a depressed look on her face.

"I know it's none of my business, but you are my older sister. You look sad." said Simon.

"Listen, with your perfect life you wouldn't understand. Mr. I'm-doing-so-good-in-university. No one would understand my life and what I've went through. Why do they need to keep bringing up Carlos? I'm trhough with him. Why do everyone want to model my life to what they want? WHY am I the only Camden that has such a screwed up life?" Mary sobbed.

"What are you talking about?" asked Simon.

"Listen, it's nothing." said Mary.

"Listen, I understand that you have a problem, but you can tell me anything you know. I'm not gonna run and tell dad all your problems. I'm here to listen." said Simon trying to comfort his sister.

"LISTEN, the thing is, I left Carlos because he beat me! When he'd get angry he'd take his anger out on me. I ran away, I had no other choice. I love the man and I didn't want to have to have dad get involved because you know how dad is. I didn't want him put in jail or anything. I just wanted to make enough money so I could bring him to court. Gain rights to have my baby. Start a family with my child. Be able to support my child and still be a great single parent. You wouldn't understand though. No one understands me" Mary started to cry, her voice started to raise. "Now go away, I don't wanna see you anymore, I wanna be left alone, you know too much. You're just like the rest of them anyway." Mary hid her face in her hands.

"I'm just like the rest of them?" Simon started to get angry at Mary. "So, the perfect son is only out to get you? I'm sorry but I'm not the perfect son." Simon started making motions with his hands. Mary could tell that this dramatic sarcastic state he started was not going to end pretty. Simon pointed to himself, "So, if I were Mr. perfect, would I be failing every course?"

"You're failing?" Mary gasped. "Downstairs you said..."

"I said I was doing exactly what I expected of me, not good at all!" Simon butted in. "Do you think I like being me? I hate my life, I hate this world. Nothing pleases me anymore. I'm always high, or drunk. Heck, I have an STD and no one else knows about it! And you call my life perfect, you say I won't understand any problems?" Tears formed in Simon's eyes.

"Simon..." Mary jumped up off the bed she was sitting on and ran to hug him.

"Just leave me alone!" Simon pushed Mary away. "Let me suffer my life alone! I don't wanna drag you into this." Simon started to walk away.

"Wait..." Mary grabbed Simons hand to try and stop him. Simon only pulled his hand away. But, before he got the chance, Mary noticed the cuts on Simon's wrist. "Your wrist..."

"Listen..." Simon said, pointing his finger straight into Mary's face, "ONE word of this to dad, and I tell everything you just told me! So, what's it gonna be?"

"But Simon, I can't make a decision like that, you could hurt yoursel..."

"WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?" Simon yelled at Mary.

"Alright..." Mary whispered, "alright, I won't tell dad." Mary turned and went back and sat on her bed. Simon turned and went back downstairs to the kitchen.


	9. You Suck

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**You Suck**

"Hi Simon" said Simon's father when he went into the kitchen. "Why aren't you in with the rest of the family?"

"Oh, no reason" Simon lied. "I just felt like coming out and looking for something to eat. I didn't want to have to disturbe mom or anything." Simon was starting to get really good at this lying thing.

"So, you wanna talk to you're old guy about anything?" asked Eric.

"Actually..." Simon said slowly. "There was something..."

"Oh, really? After all these years I FINALLY get one of you kids to talk to me" Eric smiled at Simon.

"Well, I really needed to talk to someone about this" said Simon. At that the phone rang.

"Don't worry, your mom will get that" said Eric. "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well... I dunno how I wanted to tell you this, but I think..." Simon started. His mother cut in.

"Eric, you have to head over to Ms. Ryan's right away. You know she's having an hard time and she says she wanted to talk with the Minister about spirtual needs" Annie yelled out.

"Alright honey!" Eric yelled back. "Simon, can this wait until another time? Ms. Ryan is one of the most repected women at our church, I really need to head over to see what she needs. I'll be back in say, oh, an hour. Think you can tell me then?" Eric grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

"I think I have an STD" Simon whispered. "_See, no one cares you idiot. Stop trying! He won't listen because you suck too much!" _Simon headed back upstairs to his bedroom, he decided that tonight he would write a note. He was going to end this torture once and for all. He knew how scary it looked, but no one would listen and no one cared. He figured that the best way to stop this torturous life was too end it.


	10. Lucy Knows

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Lucy Knows**

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Kevin asked Lucy.

"I'm a little worried" said Lucy. You know tonight when we were all in the family room and dad sent me up to call Mary and Simon back down. Well I kind of over heard an arguement they were having."

"What was it about?" asked Kevin.

"I don't think I can tell" Lucy sounded very distressed over it.

"Lucy, you can't depress yourself over something like this. It's best you tell someone." said Kevin.

"I can't"said Lucy passing Savanah over to Kevin. "Listen, I'm gonna head upstairs and talk to Simon. You take care of Savanah ok?"

"Alright Luce, but I don't understand why you're so paranoid all of a sudden."

"I have one question... You would never hurt me, or Savanah would you?" Lucy sounded really serious.

"Lucy, I'm shocked you'd even ask me a question like that. You know how much I love you and how much I love Savanah. I would never hurt either of you!" Kevin sounded really worried now. "C'Mon Luce, tell me what's going on."

"I can't, but trust me, it'll be ok. Remember, I'm in my dad's business now, I've gotta learn tot ake care of these things!" Lucy turned and headed for the stairs.

"Promise me one thing" Kevin looked at his baby in his arms. "You'll never be such a risk taker as your mommy!"


	11. Lucy Comforts

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Lucy Comforts**

"Hi Simon" Lucy said standing in Simon's doorway. "What's ya doin'?"

"Oh... um... I'm just writing down a few thoughts, I have a HUGH paper due when I get back" Simon tried to cover what he really was writing. He was becoming better at this lying thing every minute, but it wouldn't matter soon.

"So..." Lucy said, walking over and sitting on the bed next to Simon. "How've you enjoyed your weekend so far?"

"Well..." Simon shrugged.

"Just a shrug?" Lucy asked. "That's all the thanks I get?" Lucy giggled. "I hope you'll enjoy dinner tomorrow. I'm making a really special dinner for the anniversary!"

"I dunno if I'll be here tomorrow" Simon said.

"So, where well you be?" Lucy looked puzzled.

"Oh, I dunno?" Simon said.

"There had to be a reason you said that" Lucy said.

"Yeah, I gotta get back. Glenoak library don't have so many books in it as the universities. I need to get alot of books for this paper I'm writing. so I gotta head back early to get a start on it." Simon lied again.

"Oh" Lucy said with a frown. "I was really hoping that tomorrow was going to be even better then today. Oh well, at least I got time to spend one day with you. It's been a wonderful day. I really enjoy my time with you you know." Lucy put her arms around Simon and gave him a hug. "You know, I love you. You've been a great little brother and no matter what, I'm always gonna be here for you." Lucy gave Simon a smile and headed back outside. Once outside the door she couldn't help but break down. She realized just how depressed Simon was and she felt there was nothing she could do for him.


	12. Mary's Phone Call

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Mary's Phone Call**

"Terri, I may be home sooner then expected" Mary said, talking on the phone to her room mate.

"What happened?" Terri asked from the other end.

"Simon knows. I know he'll tell dad. But there's something else. I have the biggest secret on Simon and I have to tell dad. This secret is life threatening. But if I tell dad his, I know he'll tell dad mine." Mary was put i such a hard place.

"Listen, if it's life threatening, then don't hesitate. Simon is your little brother and you have to stick up for him any way you can. You can't just let him get hurt" said Terri. "Besides, you should have already told your parents about Carlos. Scum like him should be called out you know. You need to hurry, who knows what he's planning to do. He may run off and you may never see Charlie again."

"I know" said Mary frustrated. "I don't know what to do. I'm afraid for Charlie every second of every day. I seriously don't think he'd hurt Charlie like her hurt me though. But I will get my baby back. I swear to that one!" Mary couldn't help but shed a tear.

"I hope you know what you're doing" Terri said.

"I'm sure I know. But I've got to go now and pack, I'm leaving early like I said. But I'll see you when I get home. Bye" Mary hung up the phone.


	13. You Raise Me Up

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

I also do not Own The album "Hiding Place", the song "You Raise Me Up" or the group "Selah". These are all property of Curb Records.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**You Raise Me Up**

_"I guess I should turn on some music" _Simon thought to himself. _"Music always calms me down a bit. I think I need to be calmed down a bit. I don't wanna leave life all bitter!"_ Simon went over to the C.D Player that was in his room and opened it up.

"A group named Selah? never heard of them before. Album 'Hiding Place'. Must be one of dad's C.D's. What the heck, I'll give it a shot." Simon found himself talking to himself quite often latley. When the song started the music at the beginning was long.

"Wow, I didn't know songs had to have such long musical intro's. It takes away from the quality and interest of the song. Stupid Selah group." Simon now found himself talking to the C.D Player. After a minute of music, the lyrics started. when Simon heard the words, he stopped and listened. He closed his eyes and lay on his bed listening to what the song had to say.

_"When I am down, and oh my soul so weary. When troubles come and my heart burdened be. then I am still, and wait here in the silence. Until you come, and sit awhile with me."_

Mary had heard Simon playing music so she came to his door to listen. She knew Simon was depressed and she couldn't understand why he would be playing music. When she got there she noticed that Simon was laying on his bed with his eyes closed. She also noticed that he was really taking in what the song had to say. She stopped thinking about what was going on and decided to listen to the music herself.

_"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up to more then I can be."_

After that, there as a long period of music so Simon opened his eyes. He saw Mary standing in the door way. She noticed that Simon had tears in his eyes, but she also knew that he wasn't the only one because she felt them on her cheek too.

"Hi" Mary smiled at Simon. Simon ran past Mary and down stairs. He grabbed his coat and ran out the door. Where ever he was going, he knew where it was, and he was going fast.


	14. Dear God

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Dear God**

Simon stopped walking when he got to the front of his dad's church. He could feel the tears on this face. They were cold. He opened up the doors and walked inside.

Inside, Simon saw the place where his dad stood every sunday morning. He missed being able to come here and watch his dad give his sermon.

_"The little things I took for granted. Thinking the world was passing me by. What a joke. I can catch up with the world. I just need to give it a try!" _Simon thought to himself. He realized then how much he missed being able to sit with his family sunday mornings. He realized how much he missed piling into the car when they were heading home. But most of all, he realized he missed being able to be the one the family could turn to. The one who could help raise the family up when they were down. He missed being the funny guy who always put a smile on everyone's face when they needed it. Most of all, he missed being in his loving family where he could always give, and recieve support when he need too.

_"That's it, I'm gonna change my life!" _Simon thought as he slipped into the nearest pew.

Simon folded his hands and looked towards the sky. "God. I know I haven't talked to You in a long while. I feel bad about that. You've been there for me so much You know. I haven't been able to give my thanks back to You. Right now I want to start. I want to go back so early as when mom and dad told me I wasn't allowed to have a dog. They told me if one wandered into the yard I could have it. So I prayed to You to just let a dog wander into the yard, and I got Happy. You know, I've been really thankful for that ever since, even though I never stopped to tell You. I'm sure You've known though because it's like my dad says, You know all about us.

Also, I just want to know if there's anyway that You can forgive me? I really need to be forgiven by someone. I know my family is always there to forgive me, but that's what a family is for. I just need to know that You, the big guy, is going to forgive me.

And about the cutting thing. I promise I'll stop that. You know, it just numbed the pain of all my problems. It may have hurt to have my wrist bleed, but my other problems fadded for a while. But I just pray to You that You'll help me stop that. I'm really looking forward to You helping me with these problems." Simon shifted in his seat. He really felt that he was getting somewhere.

"Oh, and the drugs. I'm totally done with those. I do realize that You are going to help me with these problems of mine and when You do, I won't need to use drugs to block out all my worries and cares. They made me feel so good at the time. But the after effects were so bad! God, I know that the after effects from You aren't at all like that.

And about this STD. I just pray to You that it's not true. I do understand that I slept with a girl with a STD, but I just pray that You'll intervene somewhere. That I won't have a STD and that it was just all a big misunderstanding.

Also, I want to pray for my sister Mary" a tear fell from Simon's eye. "She's been a great sister and I don't understand why this had to happen to her. I guess the saying is true, bad stuff happens to great people. If anyone knows how great Mary is, it's me.

And Lucy, and the twins. Ruthie, Matt, Martin and Kevin. All of them, they've been so great in my life and I realize that they've all tried to help me in ways I can't explain.

Lastly, I wanna pray for my mom and dad. They raised me up great. They did a wonderful job with all of us kids, I just don't understand why my life had to turn. It's not the way they raised me and I just want to get back on track. So God, that's my prayer. Help my life get back on track! I know You can do it!"

Simon sat in the pew a few minutes. He had tears running down his face. After a while Simon stood up to leave. When he turned he saw that Mary was in the doorway of the church. She had followed him here. He noticed she also had tears in her eyes.

Mary ran to Simon with her arms outstretched. She hugged him tight. "Simon, I miss the old you too. I miss the old me. I miss the old family. I miss the way everything was."

"Mary, it's all gonna change. I talked to Him and He's gonna change it. Have faith. Our lives will start to get better!" Simon smiled as Mary loosned her grip from around Simon. "C'Mon, we need to get home. Mom and dad are probably looking for us by now."

"Yeah, they'll know you're gone when dad realizes that you have his C.D on. He knows you don't listen to that kinda music" Mary giggled.

"I think it's about time I start putting a bit of inspiration in my life" Simon said. Simon and Mary walked out of the church and headed home. They now knew things were going to get better!


	15. I Love You, Mom

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**I Love You, Mom**

When Simon and Mary returned home, Mary went in to the house through the front door but Simon decided to go around back. H ewould rather enter the house through the kitchen so he could grab a bite to eat before heading up to his room.

When Simon opened the door to the kitchen he saw his mom. She was cleaning the kitchen from the lunch they had had that afternoon, but she looked worried. When she heard Simon come in she looked up.

"Where have you been?" Annie yelled as she picked up another plate to put into the dishwasher. "It's late and I've been worried sick about..."

"Mom..." Simon butted in. He walked over and hugged his mother. "I love you, mom."

"Simon..." His mother didn't know what to say. All she knew is that the son she had which had been so distant only minutes ago, was now hugging her. Annie couldn't help but shed a tear. "I love you too, Simon."

Simon let his mother go. "Mom, you head on upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll finish cleaning this up. Oh, and while you're at it, can you tell dad I need to talk with him?"

"Alright," Annie shook her head yes and wipped away the tears that had formed in her eyes. "I'll go get him for you. Thanks Simon." Annie gave her son a kiss on the cheek and went off to get his father. All of a sudeen Annie returned to the Kitchen.

"Your father is in the study. He said to come in, he isn't feeling very good. Something about Ms. Ryan" Annie said. then she went off to bed.


	16. Talk With Dad

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**Talk With Dad**

"Hi son" Eric said. "I'm sorry about today, I know you wanted to talk to me but I had to go see what was wrong with Ms. Ryan. She's widowed and the only person she had left in the world was her son. The thing is, she had a spiritual need. The reason was because her son... I dunno how to put this so that it sounds nice, I guess there is no nice way of saying it... Her son killed himself last night. When I went there and was talking to her, all I could think about was you... you, Matt, Sam and David. I wondered did I raise you guys right, I wondered if you guys were thinking this. And it's so hard to tell you know. She claimed she never knew her son was depressed until they found him dead, with slashes on his wrist. It's a real shame that anyone would have to go through that." tears formed in Eric's eyes. "That's why whilke we raised you all we wanted you guys to do was talk to us. Please tell me that if anything comes up you'll talk to us... Please tell me we've raised you right..." Eric looked at Simon.

"Dad, don't worry, I was raised to know better." Simon smiled at his father. "I know that there is so much to live for. So much wonderful stuff to see. Why end your life when there's a new adventure for you everyday. God has so much in store for us that it's unbelievable."

"What?" Eric asked.

"What do you mean, what?" asked Simon.

"That last part, can you repeat it?" Eric asked.

"I said, God has so much in store for us that it's unbelievable" Simon repeated. Eric stood up and walked over and gave his son a hug. "Dad, I decided my lie was getting to heavy on me." Simon continued. "I decided to get someone to help me out with it. I know His been a friend to you for a long time. So, I decided that if he can help an old guy like you, then he should be able to help a guy like me" Simon smiled at his father.

"It's true" Mary said, entering the doorway of the study. "Simon ran out of the house tonight, and by now, as you can see, I'm the nosey kid and I wanted to know where he was going. I followed Simon down the street and we ended up at your church, dad. Simon went inside and he sat in a pew, he said a prayer for all of us, including himself. All I used to think to myself is where do I turn? What can I do? When I heard Simon's prayer, I knew exactly what I should do. His prayer touched me. In the back of that church watching SImon say a prayer, I said my own little prayer." Eric teared up.

"Oh, and dad. That little offer about talking to you about our problems, is that still up for grabs?" Simon asked.

"Anytime!" Eric said.

"Well, I kinda need to talk now" Simon said. "I think I may have an STD... NOT a deadly one, like AIDs or anything, but I think I may have one of those curable ones. Dad, I really need to get this checked out. I need you to bring me into the clinic tomorrow."

Eric was dumbfounded. He wasn't expecting his son to say what he had just heard. Eric didn't get mad though, He was too happy with the previous news. He knew that God had this under control.

"Dad..." Mary hesitated. "Does that talk go for me too?" Mary couldn't look at her dad in the eyes, she kept staring at her feet. Eric shook his head yes slowly, unsure of what he was going to hear this time.

"Dad..." Mary didn't know how to put it. "I don't want you to get mad at Carlos or anything. I love the man. Plus, he has Charlie, so I wouldn't want him to get mad and find out you guys know, because he could do anything. It's just, the reason I ran away from Carlos is because he used to hit me. He never hit Charlie. He used to get mad and take his anger out on me so I ran away before he got the chance to hurt me. Right now I'm trying to make enough money to get Charlie back but I dunno when that'll be."

Eric went over to Mary and hugged her. "Mary, don't worry. We'll help you get Charlie back. You can even come live with us until you get your feet on the ground. You know that we'd never want anything to happen to you or our grandchildren. We love you. You remembet that!"


	17. The Results

Where Do I Turn?

**Disclaimer:** 7th Heaven and the characters are all property of The WB and Paramount Home Entertainment. I in no way claim to own any right to the stories or story linesdealing with or in the show. I just like writing fanficiton and 7th Heaven is one of my fave shows.

**Note:** This fanfiction will be jumping from scene to scene, so instead of being really complicated I'm breaking each scene up into chapters.

**The Results**

"Lucy" Annie yelled. "Stop pacing back and forth. You're making me more nervous then I already am." Lucy was pacing back and forth the family room floor. She was nervous about the results that Simon was going to get. The whole family sat in the family room waiting for Simon's return to find out. All of them nervous and on the edge. Just then, the door opened and Eric walked in.

"How is he?" everyone ran up to Eric before he even got the chance to get inside the door.

"I'm fine" said Simon coming up behind his father. "And I'm STD free!" Everyone screamed in joy and hugged Simon.

"A wise man once told me that if you have faith in the big guy above, anything can happen!" Lucy smiled at Simon. Kevin smiled too because he knew the wise man was him.

Everyone was so excited to hear from Simon that they all forgot that Mary was on the phone. Mary hung up the phone and walked over to where all the rest of the Family was standing. She had her hands in her front jeans pockets, looking very casual. When she got over to her family she couldn't help but smile.

"That was my lawyer" Mary said. "He said that there's a 90 chance that I'll get the rights to have Charlie come live with me" she screamed, she couldn't hold in the joy. Both she and SImon knew at that moment that this had not been by chance, but their lives, for the first time since they were kids, was being controled by something greater, that cared and loved them like His own.

**Amen.  
**

_**I hope y'all liked my story... please review it if you read it. I LOVED writing this story. It was my fave I wrote so far, so I hope you guys like it too! Also, thanks for all the great reviews I've gotten so far. I hope to write more 7th Heaven fanfics in the future!**_


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